Happiness is...

Receiving a spring-time art project from your second grader.

She calls me Mommy

She calls me Mommy and blows me kisses,
Lands them perfectly-never misses.

She talks with her eyes and laughs with her heart-
She stays on my mind when we are apart.

And she dances like the light in her eyes-
Giving me reason to wake, and rise.

A precious love, too deep to measure-
Every moment with her- a gift to treasure.

Wordless Wednesday

(eh-hmm)..Those of you with a clean mind will see the nose of a pelican bird.

Wordless Wednesday..

Face Painters Hear the Darndest Things!

For those of you who may not know already, I am a world-famous professional Face Painter. (I know you are all bubbling to see my work, so by no means is this a shameless plug.) CLICK HERE TO VIEW MY WEBSITE-AVAILABLE FOR BIRTHDAY PARTIES, BAR MITZVAHS, SCHOOL FUNCTIONS, ETC.
That's right-on the weekends I leave my home (of 2 screaming, crying, crazy children) in order to sit for hours and paint the snot-nosed precious faces of  other people's screaming, crying, crazy children.

Today happened to be a 'doozie' of a gig.  It was an outdoor Easter Fest-in 40 degree windy weather.  I was astonished at how many people waited in line to get their kid's face painted in that cold!
After two and a half hours of continuously painting, I packed up my paints and brushes-except for the brush that was still frozen in position in my right hand-and headed to my car.
As I sat and defrosted, I thought about how interesting it is to be the face painter at an event-comparing it to being a fly on the wall.
People assume the Face Painter is engulfed in their art, paying special attention to their little Johnny, minding their own business...and deaf.
On the contrary, I sit with alot of mustered up patience and listen to the yelling, screaming, comments, conversations, demands and arguments-all coming from people waiting on line or gathered around me, watching me paint. (All while trying to paint a 'spiderman face' on a kid who is flinching, moving, chewing bubble gum and talking to his friends.)
I have a collection (in my mind) of some very interesting conversations and incidents I've encountered over the years of being a face painter.

A girl waiting (next) on line asked if I do Quinceaneras. I looked up from painting little Johnny's face, and said "sure, why not?" She proceeded to talk about how she will celebrate her Quinceanera in October.  She mentioned that she 'grew up' being Spanish and Italian, but that can change-she doesn't have to stay Spanish and Italian.  "Micheal Jackson totally changed himself-so can I."
I looked around and noticed her parents were not with her.
Her turn to get painted- with a somewhat snarky attitude she said "I want you to paint something on my face that you don't know how to paint."
I replied, "Well then that would be nothing -NEXT!"
She answered, "Just kidding! Can you please just paint cuts and scars all over my face, so that it can match my body?"
I thought about reaching in my bag, grabbing my cellphone and calling DYFS. (Department of Youth and Family Services)
Instead I asked her if she was serious. 
"I'm just kidding, can you just make me look like Micheal Jackson?"
Again- I asked her if she was serious.
"I'm just kidding. Just make me look evil because I may look nice on the outside, but on the inside, I'm really evil."
Ooooookaaaay then......evil it is.


A little boy asked me to have his face painted like a tiger.  His mother said "That's corny. Don't get a tiger."
The little boy looked disappointed, but obliged.  He looked over at the display board and picked a Batman Mask. His mother said "No-that's stupid. You're not putting that on your face-pick something else."
His shoulders raised and head bowed, he asked her "Which one then?" She answered "I don't like any of them, they're all corny..you're corny for even wanting this dumb shit on your face."
My heart broke for this little boy.  I ignored her and asked him if he would like the tiger.  He smiled and nodded his head 'yes'.  Okay! Tiger it is!
I started painting and the entire time listened to his mother say words under her breath, like 'stupid' 'corny' 'fool' etc... He may have been a corny tiger..but he was a tiger.


Then there was my favorite- The Hannah Montana party! I arrived at the home of one special little 6 year old girl who was celebrating her birthday the Miley Cyrus way! This party was complete with Hannah Montana cups, plates, napkins and decorations galore! Why, the Mom even went all out and purchased a Hannah Montana Karaoke Machine!
Hooray for the Face Painter who got to sit right next to the screeching, wailing machine filled with constant feedback and a three year old singing 'The Climb' for 2 hours-which sounded exactly like this:
"Baaaaaa Daaaaaaaaaaaa Baaaaaaaaaaaaa Daaaa Ba Daaaaaaa Baaaa Daa Baaaaaaaaaaa AAAAaaaaaaaa DDaaaaaaaaa Baaa Ddaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!"
Uh, and yes-the damn machine was on Echo.
I must admit though, the kids were nice, and I enjoyed painting their sweet little faces.
They were so happy and excited to have their faces painted and called their dad into the room to see. He walked in, and they ran over to him and said "look at our faces Dad!"
The father took one look at them and said "Get the f%ck away from me with that sh*t on your face!"
I tried to find somewhere to look, as the Hannah Montana machine screeched on.

Yea, life as a face painter isn't easy, so why do I still do it? Well, because it's what I do, and what I do well.

oh..and the moment when a child looks in the mirror at their painted face and their eyes widen, their face lights up, and they flash a giant 'kool-aid' smile, making you feel like you're their hero.....yea, that too.

Another one Bites the Duck

Call me neurotic, but I cringe whenever I see my 1 year old putting plastic toys in her mouth. The chemicals bisphenol A and phthalates  have been found in everything from our children's rubber duckies to teething rings and bathtime toys.
These toxic chemicals have been linked to various types of cancers, early onset of puberty, and abnormal brain development in children.
Not so neurotic now, huh?
Granted, it is almost impossible to be rid of every plastic toy in the house. Instead, I have taken all the small toys that she strictly uses to bite on, (such as 'little people') and put them away until she is older and plays with them more appropriately.
Bath time toys are another issue.  The soft plastic squirt toys that she chomped on during tubby time are now in 'tub-toy heaven' never to return. Not only did she enjoy chewing on the 'yucky rubber duckie'-she intently tried to suck the stagnant bath water from the squirt hole of the toy. Bleeech!  With that being said- here's my pick for one of the smartest, chemical free tub toys out there.

 

Not your average rubber ducky! Made by BOON these cool little quackers have hip, modern graphics and shapes, bold colors and cool names. Better than that-they are completely PVC and phthalate-free, and no BpA!

I love the fact that they do NOT have a squirter, or a way for dirty bath water to get (and stay) inside.

You can find them in Babies R Us.  Check out their website for other locations. http://www.booninc.com/index.php

What it's Like to Make it to the Top

I didn't think I'd have problem turning 40 until a friend asked me, "So,what will you do in the last week of being in your 30's?"

For some strange reason, the question made me feel as if death was around the corner, and I had only one week to relinquish the borrowed time of an amazing decade of my life.

I can't believe the day is here.
The death of my 30's.

Age is just a number..You only get better with age..40 is the new 20.  All bullshit.

It's not that I feel old, turning forty.  Don't get me wrong, I do notice how elasticity is starting to 'leave the building' whenever I take a good look in the mirror, or how impossible it seems to lose weight, or how completely drained tired I feel by seven eight o'clock at night.

Here's my problem with turning forty. 
There are two parts to life. The first part is from the day you are born until you turn forty (middle age).
Once you reach forty, it's like you've reached the tippy top of a hill, and at the top of that hill is a sign.
That sign says-ONE WAY.  Take a guess which way that sign is pointing.

Forty starts the second part of your life..and again..there are only 2 parts to life. Catch my drift?

In hindsight, the entire decade of being in my thirties was an amazing time.  It was a time of building the foundation of what made up my life, and my self today.
A decade flooded with joyous memories, such as owning my first home, and the birth of my children. 
So many milestones unfolded throughout my thirties, lending to some of the best times.


In my forties I will become the mother of a teenager (LORD HELP ME), and a wife of 20+ years to my husband.
And with that being said..

I will take turning forty with a grain of salt... and a lemon wedge...and a shot of tequilla. And  I will certainly let the people who don't read my blog know that today, I turn 39.